Well that is getting close to an ongoing trend I see in wider society. I do not need anyone else to approve of my life style. If someone told me a lifestyle choice I made was to them a "failure". I would seek to understand why, evaluate if their logic has any application to my life and if not simply shrug and disgard thier opinion. If I instead it did have value I would see if I wanted to make a change

The fact the people judge other people actions based on their worldview is just a fact of life. Seeking that external validation of ones life choices to me shows insecurities in those choices.

In order have a pluralist society we have to be a to allow people to "think less of us" while still engaging, talking, and transacting with them. If we instead simply reject everyone that does not share our worldview then that is a monoculture, and most likely and dystopian society as well

I think you have a very good point with respect to general society and an overly expressed need for validation.

However, we are talking about friends, not strangers. Surely there is some point when the opinions of others should matter.

Would you want a friend, or worse, a spouse that considered you to be a failure, fool, or generally inferior person?

In my belief, healthy and meaningful personal relationships are based on mutual respect. This includes accepting the fact that other people may have different life goals and objectives.

This doesn't need to be absolute, but depending on the magnitude and frequency it can certainly be a irreconcilable difference.

I guess that depends on the context, I do not want a people around me that will just agree with everything I say and do, and in the context here we are talking about a life choice I made (in this case not having children) as a failure... not that I am "failure, fool, or generally inferior person" I think those are different things.

lets change the context to something less divisive, say i was an Alcoholic and my Alcoholism was destroying my life would my "friend" be a friend if they continued to supply me with Whiskey and Beer or would they be a "friend" is they took me to task, told me as I fool, and a failure?

I think that is a good point. Context and intent matter. Sometimes being a good friend means disagreement.

That said, there is productive and unproductive disagreement. Similarly, there is also transient and permanent disagreement.

There is also the matter of perspective. In the case of the alcoholic friend, there is a difference between viewing it as something that is preventing them from achieving their own goals versus your own personal code. I think the former is a much more compassionate view (and perhaps more productive).

I think this is an interesting example because most people would agree that destroying your life with Alcoholism is a bad thing, so we both share the same bias.

What if you had an alcoholic friend who judged you for not regularly drinking to excess? How does that change the logic in the example?